Some Thoughts on Problems
I was thinking earlier about the money-making scheme of convincing people that they have a problem and that you can fix it for them, all for $19.99. I started thinking about this when I was reading this self-help blog. I noticed myself feeling an increasing amount of anxiety while I was reading the material. All of these new suggestions were being thrown at me of ways to get more out of life or be doing better at life. The more I read, the more uncomfortable and anxious I became. With each line and each paragraph, there was a new fix being offered to a problem. I even glanced over to the eBook presale ad in the corner and thought, “hmm, maybe I should read this guy’s eBook.”
Then I was like, “wait a minute.” I realized that this self-help stuff I was reading was making me feel like I have more problems! I laughed and closed the website and sat for a moment in silence.
That’s the power that participating in society can have on our minds. Sometimes we are able to convince ourselves that we have problems we don’t even have! Society is a self-reinforcing loop. Our society operates on the assumption that there is not enough and that we need more. There is always going to be a new problem presented to us once we fix the old one. It’s our choice whether to play along or say, “nahh, I’m good,” and be content with who you are and what you have.
We see this everywhere. There is always a new billboard being put up, a new commercial being produced, a new print-ad being designed. We’re so used to being told that we have problems we need to solve that we’ve forgotten how to distinguish between the actual problems we have (”I need to drink water or I am going to die”) and the ones we’ve just been convinced we have (”my shoes are out of style”). There are millions and millions of people all lining up for the chance to scream at us that we are broken and that they can fix us, for $19.99.
An important thing to remember as a participant in this economy of problems and solutions is that you determine what problems you have. The particular site I was reading today was more or less about how to communicate with people more effectively and get them to like you. The more of the site I read, the more I felt like I am bad at communicating with people and need this site’s help. But I finally snapped out of it. I thought to myself, “hey, I’m great at interacting with people. Why am I reading this crap? It’s just making me feel like I’m not.”
I am not condemning all forms of self-help material. I’ve learned various communication techniques from reading self-help material. For example, the importance of communicating your point in as concise of a manner as possible. It’s just that today I didn’t feel like the self-help material was actually helping me in any way.
So now I’m trying to spot other areas of my life where I’m feeling anxiety over trying to find the solution to a problem that I am only imagining exists. Today, my imaginary problem was not being able to communicate with people effectively. But that was stupid. I communicate with people just fine. I actually think it’s one of the things I’m more gifted at than your average person. I have no qualms with talking with other people, including strangers, even in front of a large audience. Why am I getting all worked up reading self-help material about something I’m already comfortable with?
Some food for thought: what problems in your life are you feeling anxiety about finding a solution for? Are these problems in any way optional? If so, just let go of them!
Some common examples include:
- the need to look better naked (we are constantly tortured by images of people with chiseled bodies and the suggestion that we will not be loved unless we look like them too)
- the need to make more money (I constantly struggle with the perception that my self-worth is directly related to the amount of money I have which is so dumb because it’s been proven that money and happiness are not correlated past having your basic needs met)
- your wardrobe (you only need clothes in order to be covered up in public enough to suffice the law or to stay warm; those goals can be accomplished for very little, any spending beyond that amount is trying to buy a solution to a perceived problem)
- the need to have a significant other (again, from the time we are little kids, society bombards us with the message that it’s not okay to be alone and that in order to have “made it” you need a spouse, and also, children)
If you really spend some time thinking about it, you may just realize that most of your problems are imaginary in nature. I’m going to pay more attention to this so I spend less time feeling anxious about trying to solve a problem I don’t even have!
—–
I’m leaving for Vegas in three days where I will play poker for the first time in nearly two months. Because there are no online poker rooms in the U.S. now. There are poker rooms in India, but not in the U.S.
I love the WSOP and I love blogging about it (see links in bottom of right sidebar), so expect lots of poker content soon!
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
