No Haggle Honda
My girlfriend and I made a short trek to a Honda dealership today to pick up some wheels. We moved to Austin sans-ride with the plan to figure it out once we got here. Two weeks of subsisting with Austin’s impressive public transportation system and walking was about all we could handle before insisting on an automobile to navigate the vast, urban Texas landscape.
The Honda dealership we went to was a “no haggle” dealership. Upon seeing the sign in the window advertising as much, I assumed it was just a cheesy marketing ploy being used by your usual, token car dealership. But it turns out there was substance to the claim. They really are a “no haggle” car dealership. All that means is that they have fixed prices for their vehicles. They set what they think is a fair price for the car and the customer can either accept the price or leave and look for another option. I guess there’s a market for catering to pansies who complain about not liking to haggle. Personally, I would have preferred the traditional model.
I’ve bought cars at “traditional” dealerships, most recently at an Infiniti dealership where the service was professional, concise, and efficient. Go in, look at a car, test drive a car, and then be treated like an intelligent adult while negotiating the terms of acquiring the car. This is, I would imagine, pretty much the basic car dealership experience these days. Not at No Gaggle Honda. The service at No Haggle Honda, on account of their staff apparently genuinely not caring whether or not you leave with a car, was pretty aloof.
We were greeted at the door by what I assumed was a doorman or errand boy. He turned out to be our sales rep.
“Hey, welcome to Honda,” he told us.
“Thanks…”
Awkward silence.
“Sooo… who can I talk to about a leasing arrangement?”
“Oh you can talk to me!”
“Ohh! Oh… uhh… sooo… is there any place we could go to sit down and do that?”
“Oh okay sure! Right over here…”
Most car salesmen wouldn’t have missed a beat walking you from the front door into their office to talk about what brought you in today.
The service got no more professional from there. Throughout the exchange, we dealt with several interruptions so our sales rep could tell us about the concert he’s looking forward to later in the week, the long-story meaning of the tattoo on his forearm, and a very exhaustive, n00b Manhattan story (he actually said, “and then I went to Times Square and took some pictures,”) once he learned that’s where my girlfriend is from. It was like having a community-college educated, unambitious ex-bartender walk you through the process of buying a car at a pace that indicated no particular hurry to get it done. Which upon listening to his stories, was exactly what he was, incidentally.
I find it kind of interesting that this model exists. If I ran a car dealership, I would never send a guy like that to the front door to handle a prospective customer. But it wasn’t his fault. The whole dealership was like this. Everyone we dealt with had a “gee I hope Smithies is running a dollar off pitchers special tonight” attitude. There are probably two major contributors to this attitude we found: a.) the “no haggle” model itself and b.) the zeitgeist of Austin, TX.
No Haggle Honda
I’ve heard about these “no haggle” or “straight-forward” car dealerships before. I believe all of Scion might operate this way. The gist of it is that people want buying a car to be like buying a pair of jeans: a salesman nearby in case you have a question, a fixed price-tag, and a decision of whether or not you want to pay that price. Personally, I don’t want buying a car to be like buying a pair of jeans. When I buy a pair of jeans, I don’t need some punk trying to sell me on it. In fact, I’d probably walk out if a CS agent said more than fifteen words to me while I was thinking about whether or not to buy a pair of jeans. But I don’t want that experience when buying a car.
When buying a car, I want someone there kissing my ass from the minute I walk in the door. I want them to act like what I’m doing today is kind of a big deal in my life. I want to deal with their lame salesman tactics that my friend Ward taught me to counteract. Because with those amenities and annoyances comes a guy motivated to get you what you want. At “No Haggle Honda”, there was no such motivation. We were told repeatedly, “we don’t get paid on commission.” Yea, I noticed. And I wish you were.
Austin, TX
What is likely another major contributor to this unique car buying experience is the city of Austin, TX. There seems to be some awesome stuff about this city but sometimes it feels like everyone is an irresponsible college-kid who sleeps on a friend’s couch so they can afford an extra case of beer and a concert pass each week. That can be annoying. The “who cares if we’re poor as long as there’s Facebook?” mentality is more prevalent in this city than in Houston.
What we got
After what could have been two hours but was instead four, we left Honda with a lease on a new Civic LX sedan. The epitome of an un-baller ride? Yes. But reliable wheels that leave more money for cases of beer and concert tickets? Also, yes.
Bonus poker fun fact: Yesterday, I played 46 MTTs including, at one point, 19 simultaneously. Both are personal records. On the upside, I cashed in 10 of them, also probably a personal record, but the big downside: I lost dollars. That said, I think dollars can be won playing that high of a volume. It was fairly intense for a couple of hours, but I didn’t feel like I was giving up much EV employing a “screw it, let’s just register for everything” modus operandi for the day. I’ll probably do it again when feeling up for it.
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Funny story – although I did find it offensive that being an ex-bartender and going to community college made him unworthy to be a car salesman. Don’t forget how fortunate you are to be a super wealthy poker player – some of us have to grind the old school way.
I think you’re putting words into my mouth. I’m sure there are plenty of ex-bartenders who never even went to college that make fantastic car salesmen. Conversely, there are plenty of people with a PhD that I doubt could sell an umbrella during a rain storm. I never stated or even implied that being an ex-bartender who attended community college made him “unworthy” of being a used car salesman and it’s pretty ridiculous that you interpreted it that way.
So I take it their is no Hyundai dealership in Austin?
Car salesmen are dirty crooks.